yes i know i have some tyos in my blogs but my hands are really cold and i hate uisng the back space button and i dont really care either so whatever. dont take this as ‘he’s unemployed so he must be dumb look at the way he talks on his blog’ because i’m not dumb.
Timmy Minson’s Guide to Being Un(der)employed
As most of you could have guessed, the average human rides their bicycle a lot less, if at all, during the winter months. I know there are a few of you out there that are going to tell me how they ride their bikes rain or shine, sleet or snow, or something like that, but this isn’t about you. This is about me. And what does this mean for me? This means that I don’t really get to work. Sure, I work the occasional day or two until the weather gets warmer but what am I supposed to do the other 6 days out of the week? This guide is going to help all of you that are unemployed or underemployed - including myself.
Option 1
Stay in bed. There really isn’t anything else to do and it’s cold outside. This option is my favorite. By the time 6pm rolls around, your roommates should be getting home from work and you can do real things. Save your energy for them.
Option 2
Take a shower. You can really draw this one out for a while. Sometimes you can even waste 20-30 minutes if you try. You know, bust out the shower gel, grab your loofa, rinse, and repeat. Even clean your ears if you want. Then, when you get out of the shower, you can get back into bed as to not get dirty. This allows you to not have to shower again for a few days. This definitely gives you something to look forward to. A more detailed guide to showering can be found here.
Option 3
Do free things. Why bother spending money when you aren’t even making money? Seems awfully foolish to me. Hit up the local Trader Joe or Whole FOods and grab some free samples. Trader Joe even offers free coffee. This will really kill some time and fill up your belly.
After that’s all done, head over to your local perfume shop and get some free spritzes. You’ll smell great and no one will even know you’re unemployed. Who knows, maybe you’ll even pick up a significant other that makes a lot of money and then you won’t ever have to work again. This was a really great suggestion by my friend Kelly. She has a job but this is still a really good suggestion. Definitely trying this one out today.
Once your tum is filled with food and coffee and your skin smells fresh like a woman, then head over to an eyeglasses store. I usually try and go to the more boutiquey places because they glasses are really expensive and these people really want to make a sale. A lot of times they’ll bring you out 5+ pairs of glasses to try on at a time. Little do they know, you can’t even afford the glasses repair tool kit let alone a pair of Polo or Ray-Ban glasses.
Well that just about concludes Timmy Minson’s Guide to Being Un(der)employed. I hope this helps all of you until the job market picks back up and we’re out of this recession. As for now, I can feel myself going into a vitamin D withdraw from not getting any sun, so I’m going to try and leave the house. Maybe I’ll go to WHole foods and buy some vitamin D supplements so I can revert back to Option 1 tomorrow.
